There are special people out there in America who want to fill a parental void but don’t actually want any children. Instead of adopting a traditional pet like a dog, cat, or goldfish, these people spend as much as $5,000 to adopt a monkey, often a capuchin monkey that can grow up to 22 inches and 9 pounds. The monkeys are basically toddlers that will never grow up. An estimated 15,000 monkeys live as surrogate children within American families. TLC is currently featuring some of these families on “My Baby Monkey,” which originally aired in Britain. (You can watch videos here.)
Many of the “parents” were empty nesters before adopting their monkeys, or they had experienced troubling childhoods and didn’t want children of their own. Now, these people don’t treat their monkey children, which are sometimes referred to as monkids, like pets. Instead, the monkeys are allowed to eat at the dinner table, wear makeup and designer clothes, have their own decorated bedrooms, and get transported around in baby carriages.
While I can understand the appeal of raising a capuchin monkey like a human baby—they’re cute and cuddly, they’re a close human relative, and they can’t talk back—there are some negatives. First, capuchins are wild animals that bite and have panic attacks when not with their “mothers.” Lori Johnson’s monkid, Jessy, latched on to her shoulder 24/7 for six months when Lori first got her, and when Jessy started nipping at Lori and her husband, they had her teeth removed. Also, the real mothers of these babies are often shot with sedatives in order for the baby to be removed. The monkeys are often lonely and depressed despite having human companionship. Kari Bagnall, who runs Jungle Friends Primate Sanctuary in Florida which houses many surrogate monkeys after their “parents” can no longer care for them, says attacks are inevitable. “I have monkeys here that the people have had for 20 years. Never had a problem,” she said to ABC News. “Twenty years later, the monkey attacks. So it’s just something, it’s going to happen. It’s not a matter of, you know, if they’re going to attack. It’s when.” [ABC News, Channel4]
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